You can’t lead well when you’re holding your breath
Jess sat down and said, “Just so you know, I don’t do games.”
She wasn’t being difficult — just honest. The rest of the team were already creating characters and talking through the scenario. Jess hung back, arms folded, watching the others with that mix of curiosity and caution that shows up when something feels new and slightly uncomfortable.
We said what we usually say: you don’t have to perform, just notice what shows up. Take part however feels useful.
About 25 minutes in, something shifted.
The team hit a moment in the game where they had to respond to a crisis — a fictional one, sure, but built around how they make decisions under pressure. There was hesitation, some back and forth.
Jess jumped in. Calm. Clear. Asked a few practical questions no one else had thought to raise, helped the team agree on a direction. Not in a showy way. Just solid leadership.
Afterwards, in the debrief, she shrugged. “I didn’t mean to take charge. It just felt obvious what needed doing.”
That’s the point. The game didn’t make her a better leader. It just gave her space to stop second-guessing herself.
Play clears out the noise. It takes away the usual pressure to “look like a leader” and lets people actually be one — in a way that feels natural, not forced.
You don’t need to be playful to benefit from this kind of work. You just need enough room to breathe. The rest tends to follow.
If your team could use a bit more room — we’d love to run a session for you.
